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You know you’re pregnant when…

I’m hoping this little post will bring a smile to mothers-to-be, fathers-to-be and to all that have already been there and done that… even to anyone that’s been around a woman expecting a child, I’m sure you can relate!

Photo credit to my amazing husband Matt who snapped the shot on our morning beach walk.

You know you’re pregnant when…

-you sit down to fold the laundry and wake up two hours later laying on your pile of clean clothes.

-you eat a 5 course meal at 6p and go to bed at 9p starving like you haven’t eaten in days!

-you can no longer trust a sneeze.

-full sentences come out of your mouth backwards and only make sense in your head.

-you can sleep anywhere at anytime… except at night… in bed.

-you have no hesitation in itching your belly like a bear out of hibernation.

-crying and laughing are common actions, often done at the same time.

-getting up at 3am to devour fruit is your new norm.

-common vocabulary has completely escaped your brain.

-your boobs are so sore when you wake up, you have to carry them to the shower.

-you suddenly want rare little pets; finger monkey, baby goat, mini pig, etc.

-you have every local public restroom (and their cleanliness) located and memorized.

-you can sniff out a scent that would put a hound dog to shame.

-you find yourself crying for 20 minutes watching facebook baby delivery videos.

-your floors are cleaner than normal because your belly catches it all.

-taking a nap in your car before you go into the store is a true consideration.

-you drive 45 min to get your favorite meal from that special place then give it to your husband because it doesn’t sound good anymore.

-the ankle portion where the foot attaches to the leg is no longer existent.

-being naked is more fun than trying to find something that fits.

-you can relate to a turtle stuck on its back.

-you go from stuffed to starving in seconds.

-you’d forget your own head if it wasn’t attached.

-strangers are extra polite to you.

-you never leave the house without a drink and snack… just in case.

-running 5 miles used to be easy and now going up a flight of stairs leaves you out of breath.

-you literally have to roll out of bed to pee for the 3rd time at night.

-you refuse to wear any shoes that require snapping, zipping, buckling or laces.

-it’s 40 degrees outside, the heater is off, the windows are open and you’re still hot!

-you’re walking on the treadmill at 3mph and the gym security guard asks if you’re ok.

-you use your mid-section as an eating surface.

-walking becomes more of a side to side motion than a forward movement.

-whenever you drop something, you just walk away.

You know your girl is pregnant when…

-you order extra french fries because you know she’ll eat some even though she “doesn’t want any”.

-you quickly learn that waking her up for any reason at all besides the house being on fire will result in laser beams shooting from her eyes and/or instant tears.

-for the first time, her gas over power yours.

– you thought she left for the store an hour ago but find her sleeping upstairs with the keys in her hand.

-you spend $18 at the gas station… on snacks.

-it becomes second nature to give her a boost when she attempts to get off the couch.

-she can smell what the neighbors are cooking for dinner, what soap you washed your hands with and sniffed the fact you had tacos for lunch.

-your back starts to ache from always picking up everything from the floor that she can no longer reach.

-your plate is no longer yours, but a stand-by back up for her.

you are now crying at mushy movies and blame the pregnancy.

-coming home without the frozen yogurt you suggested is a death wish.

-you finally don’t get smacked for playing with her belly.

-snuggles become mandatory after 8pm.

… and Matt added

-your respect for her grows farther than you thought it could.

-she looks more beautiful than she ever has.

-looking into her eyes, you can see she has grown deeper as a person.

Thank you to all that pitched in to make this list happen! Have something to add? Put it in the comments and I’ll add it to the post!

Now just for giggles!

Categories: Baby Talk, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

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