You know you’re pregnant when…

I’m hoping this little post will bring a smile to mothers-to-be, fathers-to-be and to all that have already been there and done that… even to anyone that’s been around a woman expecting a child, I’m sure you can relate!

Photo credit to my amazing husband Matt who snapped the shot on our morning beach walk.

You know you’re pregnant when…

-you sit down to fold the laundry and wake up two hours later laying on your pile of clean clothes.

-you eat a 5 course meal at 6p and go to bed at 9p starving like you haven’t eaten in days!

-you can no longer trust a sneeze.

-full sentences come out of your mouth backwards and only make sense in your head.

-you can sleep anywhere at anytime… except at night… in bed.

-you have no hesitation in itching your belly like a bear out of hibernation.

-crying and laughing are common actions, often done at the same time.

-getting up at 3am to devour fruit is your new norm.

-common vocabulary has completely escaped your brain.

-your boobs are so sore when you wake up, you have to carry them to the shower.

-you suddenly want rare little pets; finger monkey, baby goat, mini pig, etc.

-you have every local public restroom (and their cleanliness) located and memorized.

-you can sniff out a scent that would put a hound dog to shame.

-you find yourself crying for 20 minutes watching facebook baby delivery videos.

-your floors are cleaner than normal because your belly catches it all.

-taking a nap in your car before you go into the store is a true consideration.

-you drive 45 min to get your favorite meal from that special place then give it to your husband because it doesn’t sound good anymore.

-the ankle portion where the foot attaches to the leg is no longer existent.

-being naked is more fun than trying to find something that fits.

-you can relate to a turtle stuck on its back.

-you go from stuffed to starving in seconds.

-you’d forget your own head if it wasn’t attached.

-strangers are extra polite to you.

-you never leave the house without a drink and snack… just in case.

-running 5 miles used to be easy and now going up a flight of stairs leaves you out of breath.

-you literally have to roll out of bed to pee for the 3rd time at night.

-you refuse to wear any shoes that require snapping, zipping, buckling or laces.

-it’s 40 degrees outside, the heater is off, the windows are open and you’re still hot!

-you’re walking on the treadmill at 3mph and the gym security guard asks if you’re ok.

-you use your mid-section as an eating surface.

-walking becomes more of a side to side motion than a forward movement.

-whenever you drop something, you just walk away.

You know your girl is pregnant when…

-you order extra french fries because you know she’ll eat some even though she “doesn’t want any”.

-you quickly learn that waking her up for any reason at all besides the house being on fire will result in laser beams shooting from her eyes and/or instant tears.

-for the first time, her gas over power yours.

– you thought she left for the store an hour ago but find her sleeping upstairs with the keys in her hand.

-you spend $18 at the gas station… on snacks.

-it becomes second nature to give her a boost when she attempts to get off the couch.

-she can smell what the neighbors are cooking for dinner, what soap you washed your hands with and sniffed the fact you had tacos for lunch.

-your back starts to ache from always picking up everything from the floor that she can no longer reach.

-your plate is no longer yours, but a stand-by back up for her.

–you are now crying at mushy movies and blame the pregnancy.

-coming home without the frozen yogurt you suggested is a death wish.

-you finally don’t get smacked for playing with her belly.

-snuggles become mandatory after 8pm.

… and Matt added